When you go to our village down there in Namawondo, Kibuku district in Uganda, you can stop at the trading center and ask anyone; whether it the village shopkeepers, the chapati* sellers on the roadside, or the boda-boda* men on the stage; for the home of Mzee* Yonah Mbayo, and someone is bound to know the place. “Yes, Mzee Yonah. I know him. He was a good man. Follow this road, turn right at the junction and you will find a muvule tree. That is the home of Mzee Yonah,” they will say while pointing at the road which leads to my grandfather’s compound. That is all they know about this great man who made his home thrive, brought up his children well, and served the village as a Mwami (Local Counsellor 1).  My grandmother Nancy or as we call her Jjaaja Asanasi is only mentioned as one of the many wives Mzee Yonah had.

What many in the village do not know or fully appreciate is the tremendous role Jjaaja Asanasi played in the family. Our grandfather was a great man and we are glad to be part of his family, however I have come to learn that his story and our stories are not complete without Jjaaja Asanasi. Although she lived in a time when women got very little recognition in the community, she lived a life worth celebrating. Like most in her time, she never went to school but somehow had the wisdom to send all her children to school. When Mzee Yonah said he was running low on funds and could only afford to send the boys of the home to school, she dug her back to sickness to raise money in order to take the girls to school so that they too could have a chance at the white man’s education.

One thing that stands out about Jjaaja Asanasi, and which I will always cherish and be grateful for, is her heart. In all my time on earth, I do not think I have met someone with a kinder heart than Jjaaja Asanasi. Jjaaja really took to mind Paul’s exhortation that everything should be done in love and that we should never repay anyone evil for evil. Life with co-wives and overly demanding in-laws is never easy, but if it came to it she would let them eat all the food she dug up from the garden, while always reminding her children (and herself) that tomorrow would take care of itself. When we the close family noticed people were taking advantage of her and manipulating her, we did what we thought was wisdom on our part by warning her against such people. However, her response was always the same, “Leave them. Do not let their bad hearts corrupt you. Do good because that is who you are”.

Jjaaja got saved at a later stage in her life, that is in her 60’s. However, she made up for all the time with God she never had in her youth. She never stopped thanking God for life, for all his goodness, or for saving her. Her last contribution to the body of Christ was approving the construction of a church, called Redeemed church, on a piece of land which she owned. All her savings went to the construction of that church. “Take this. Is it enough to pay for a window in the church? Take this too and send it to the pastor. He may not have food for his family,” she would often direct us, as she handed over a bundle of money from her safe. When there was hesitation from us, she would remind us that God had given her the opportunity to serve Him at her old age and then she would gently urge us to do as she bade us.

In her last days, her health deteriorated greatly and she could not walk on her own. She spent most of her time indoors between the sitting room and bedroom, but she never left her radio behind wherever she went. She always had to tune in and pray along with Pastor Bujingo; not for her health, but for her children and grandchildren. “May Matilda be well, may Innocent do well at work, and may Solomon finish school well and get a job…”, we often heard her mumbling this and so much more.

There is much to say about Jjaaja Asanasi. This is only a sneak peek into the numerous ways she blessed us. She was in many ways a hidden figure, always working selflessly and tirelessly in the background of her children’s and husband’s lives. If our stories are ever written and our lives talked about, I hope it will be remembered that our story, my story started with this phenomenal woman. A woman who lived by one simple principle, “love is the only way”.

Meaning of some local words used in the text:
* Chapati – Chapati is the local name for roti, an unleavened flat bread originating from India
* Boda-boda – In Uganda, boda-bodas are motorcycle taxis which carry one or two passengers
* Mzee – This is a local word used to address an old man. It shows respect and reverence for the old man
* Jjaaja – A local word used for addressing a grandmother or grandfather